Celebrating National Coming Out Day: Something Personal for Everyone


By Alex S. Morgan

Happy National Coming Out Day! I’m going to update my list of disclosures a little today. See if you notice anything new.

I’m polyamorous. I have a boyfriend, a girlfriend, and several wonderful lovers, sweeties, and playmates. Both my boyfriend and my girlfriend are married, though not to each other. I seem to like people who aren’t afraid to commit. 

I’m queer. I’m both sexually and romantically attracted to people of a variety of genders and bodies.

I’m someone who has done sex work. It’s work that I’m proud to have done, and while it’s a complicated subject for many people, I will always have love and respect for both the work of sex work and for the amazing people who do it.

I’m kinky. I’ve been playing for 15 years, went pro for 10, and look forward to many more decades of exploring the intersections of pleasure, power, control, and sensation.

I’m an ex-Goth. There will always be a special place in my heart for too much eyeliner, boys in skirts, making out to Morrissey, and big, stompy boots.

I’m genderqueer. When the world flipped a coin to see if I would identify as a man or a woman, my coin landed on its edge and kept spinning.

I’m fem. That doesn’t mean I’m a woman; it means I’m feminine. The one does not imply the other in either case.

I’m transgender. The body I’ve been walking around in, while fun to dress up, has fallen short on several important points and I’m in the process of shapeshifting accordingly in a masculine direction.

So, I’m a poly, kinky, queer, transgender fem guy who has gone pro for most of that at some point (including the eyeliner, oh yes).

Wherever you are, whoever you are, whether you prance out of the closet or tuck up inside it to stay safe: You are not alone. You don’t have to have it all figured out to have who you are – including your journey toward figuring out or creating who you are – be real and valid. You get to be unsure. You get to be messy. You get to just not know yet.

Wherever you are, whoever you are, in or out, remember your experience is shared by so many.

Alex S. Morgan is a writer and sex educator based on the Bay Area.  He can be contacted at his website.

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