How Systems of Oppression Avoid Scrutiny


By Phoenix Calida


Sex work. Domestic violence. Police brutality. Racism. Misogyny.

Every argument has the same basic principle.

“But if you, the victim, didn’t do “x”, then “y” wouldn’t have happened”.


No exaggeration, in the last two hours in have seen women of color tell women of color sex workers “If you didn’t do that job, you wouldn’t risk being murdered. That’s what’s wrong with sex work.” (Never mind the fact that the actual problem is murderers)


But then that same women of color will get mad at a black man who says “if you dont provoke a man, he won’t hit you.” (Ignoring the fact that abusive behavior is the problem)


But a white woman will say the same shit about police brutality against a black man, “if you had been compliant, they wouldn’t have beat you up.”

(Ignoring the fact institutional racism is actually the problem)


And then the white woman has the nerve to be mad when a white man says basically the same thing to her by blaming her skirt for rape.  If you hadn’t been dressed like that…(even though rapists, not rape victims, are the problem)


Why are we so divided and conquered? The only common denominator is blaming victims for the behavior of predators and abusers.


Being at the receiving end of the abuse? You. You’re the problem. Your existence is the problem.

“This idea/law/social behavior hurts you?”Then stop being someone we don’t approve of. You’re not entitled to humanity or community, and by extension, community protection, until you live in a way that pleases us.  So if you choose to defy our incredibly narrow ideas of what a person can be, you’ll have brought any suffering on yourself due to your own defiance.


And we wonder why people don’t report? Why they stay in abusive relationships? What’s the point of reporting?


If all coming forward does it get more people to tell you that it’s not the person who abused you, but it’s YOU as an individual that’s the problem, why come forward?  You ready have an abusive partner, misinformed media representation, and an apathetic society to blame you. Why make it public and get personalized hate directed at you?



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