When “Chivalry” is a Mask for Coercion

By Elle Stanger (March 2, 2020)

Standing outside a downtown bar and a gal beside me shivers and a man offers his coat and she says: “No, thank you” but he’s disregarding her No, and so she says it five more times in various polite ways.

And he’s insisting because “chivalry” and he’s taking it off and taking steps closer as she backs away, and he’s trying to put it on her shoulders, and I step in between and told him:

“IF YOU CARE ABOUT HER NEEDS AND RESPECT HER, PLEASE RESPECT HER NO – SHE DOESN’T WANT YOUR COAT”, and then he blinked and repeated monotone like a zombie fukboy, “I respect her”.

And she says ‘Thanks’ and I tell her to have a good night, and Boyfriend and I leave before I get too depressed on how passively rapey this culture is.

It sucks watching dudes get coercive as they attempt to be their own idea of a Hero or Nice Guy.

Anybody else ever force shit on you “for your own good”, but really because they are trying to ingratiate themselves to you?

If I ever get stabbed by a man, it will because of shit like this, I swear.


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